[ilds] underwear and postmodernism

Michael Haag michaelhaag at btinternet.com
Fri Jul 6 20:46:37 PDT 2007

The underwear theory of history

Does history have a meaning? If you're of a postmodernist turn of mind 
you may like to stop reading right here. But it's possible. History 
could have a meaning in the way that Liverpool's failure to win the 
premiership year after year has a meaning. I don't intend, here, that 
that failure has its place within an organized system of significations 
commonly shared within a community of language-users, the community, 
namely, of Manchester United supporters - though it does. I mean, 
rather, that Liverpool's repeated failure is not just a haphazard 
number of occurrences thrown together by the onward rush of football 
seasons. No, it exhibits an intelligible pattern with underlying causes.

Anyway, I stray from my main purpose. This is to point out the number 
of stories in the news at the moment which centre upon underwear. First 
we have that Joseph Corre, of the global lingerie brand Agent 
Provocateur, has turned down an MBE because, he says, Tony Blair is 
morally corrupt. Next, I see that...
La Scala opera house said Wednesday it had changed course and will 
premiere a production of Candide that it had cancelled after criticism 
of a scene in which actors danced in underwear while wearing masks of 
U.S. President George W. Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair.
As the report goes on to inform us, director Robert Carsen said that ' 
the underwear scene would remain '. And a road in County Durham has 
collapsed after a sewer pipe beneath it burst. Some underwear was 
blocking the pipe :
"If the underwear had not been flushed down the toilet, this would not 
have happened. It was very irresponsible behaviour," said a spokesman...
And then this :
Women MPs in Israel's Knesset have criticised the foreign ministry for 
resorting to "pornography" to promote Israel abroad after a feature 
appeared in the men's magazine Maxim featuring four former soldiers 
photographed in their underwear.

The magazine carried the article, The Women of the Israel Defence 
It's hard not to see the hidden pattern. Not only Blair (twice) and 
Bush; not only a sewer, hinting at both the submerged character of the 
pattern and the unseemliness of its content; not only the Zionist 
entity - but all strangely linked by underwear . If you reflect that 
underwear is usually worn in a hidden sort of way, you will not be able 
to back away from the conclusion that has forced itself on me: that 
mysterious subterranean causes now threaten us with an earthquake, or a 
tidal wave, of... underwear, probably. 
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